You Can't Unring That Bell

Use a blogpost title like "A Truly Embarrassing Moment," or "The Words I Wish I Could Take Back," or "You Can't Unring That Bell," and tell a story about a time when you didn't observe the time-tested wisdom, "Think before you speak."  In your blog, reflect a little on why it is that you can't, as they say, "unring the bell," and what it is about speaking into the air that makes that especially true.

 Perhaps this seems like a bit of a cop-out, but some of the biggest conflicts I've had with my family involved me running up to my room to calm down and proclaiming, "I don't want to talk!" I tend to do this without thinking too much about it (despite being a notorious over-thinker, I can blurt out plenty of things without thinking around people I know well), especially without thinking about its track record of hurting my parents, because it sounds like I don't want them around. In reality, I usually need some space to cool off...but sometimes my family gets trapped in silly arguments, and they're only made worse by further causing hurt, usually snowballing into some yelling.

It would have certainly saved a lot of time if I had simply admitted to or agreed with whatever I had done that was "wrong." This has been things like making unnecessary growling noises when my brother isn't listening to my parents, saying I don''t want to play chess, or complaining that my parents are arguing. In general, our temperament and conversation skills are so fantastic that we all end up saying things that we don't mean or more dramatically than is warranted, and a giant argument is sparked.

As much as we forgive each other and apologize, I've come to learn that "unringing the bell" isn't possible. They were still hurt by my words, and I cannot take back those moments of pain. They can only heal over time, the mistakes learned from (which is difficult, because it requires time thinking about speaking rather than reacting on instinct). When words are out, they cannot be taken back; there isn't an ability to edit or delete. I've certainly spent a lot of time compulsively explaining myself in many situations, but after a while it just seems like an excuse an the other party loses patience with me. If not thinking before you speak is a habit you fail to overcome, then others have difficulty believing your apologies and your relationship and trust falters.