The Power of Speech

Tell an anecdote from your own life about words that you'd wished you'd spoken or not spoken.  Describe the scene, and your feelings about it. Try to use your skill as a storyteller to put your blog readers into your shoes.  By the end of your story your reader should understand why you wish you could go back and have that moment again.  (Should be at least three full paragraphs.)

A little less than a week before I left for college, I attended a ballet that was put on by students from my high school. Based on my work schedule, I could only make the Sunday matinee performance, but I had learned beforehand that two of my friends from my high school would at least be there. I was relieved but a little nervous, as I had not seen most of my friends since early June, when I had made it clear that I needed some time away to move on from the intense academics of high school and the constrained social situations I was in.

The night before, as I was trying to go to sleep, I thought about a conversation I wanted to have with those two friends, explaining how I wish I hadn't been away from them and how I wished I had been invited to the get-togethers they had, even though I hadn't made much of an effort myself. Just imagining and planning the conversation made me emotional, and I knew I would probably cry.

The next morning, one of the friends who would be attending informed me of someone else who would be attending. It was my ex-boyfriend and friend. Moving on from him (and all that he represented in my mind) was the main motivating factor behind my absence from my friends, who were his friends too. I was tired of feeling guilty and trying to gain his approval. However, we had been talking lately about our college plans, so I was fine with the idea of him being at the ballet. At least, I thought I was. When I walked in and saw him with another friend who he had been chauffeuring around in his fancy car, I realized that this was a planned group thing, rather than a coincidence (his family was not there, for instance, even though his brother was in the show).

Once again, I felt there had been plans made without me, or with me as an afterthought. In conversation, he mentioned how the friend we were both waiting for always slept in because she never replied in the morning when they were trying to make plans, and in my frustration I grumbled, "Funny how none of those plans included me!" Then I walked away without elaborating before my words could do more damage.

But the damage was done. I'd said those words, and even though I had the discussion I wanted at intermission and cried as I thought I would, it didn't matter. Once again, he thought it was all about it him, and he wouldn't listen to my explanation after the play. The misinterpretation will forever remain.